maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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