Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Your mouth is God's brothel.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
