I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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