the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
