well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize