i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Randomize
