People in love make me want to vomit
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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