She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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