How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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