I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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