Screwed.edu
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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