So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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