I don't think brook has ever known best
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize