i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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