I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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