I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
