evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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