How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
