All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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