no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
false alarm, still single
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize