Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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