Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
