This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize