I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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