Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
