she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
