Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
