Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
