she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's blow job season.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
