My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
