Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize