so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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