i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
