"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize