i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
