yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
