i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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