at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
