why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
