cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize