How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize