Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
