So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
