you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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