Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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