Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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