He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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