I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
