but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
