I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
