I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
