Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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