I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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