haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
