Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
