for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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